Jerk off instructions

JOI (jerk-off instructions) is one partner telling another exactly how to masturbate — the pace, grip, when to speed up, slow down, edge, or come. It hands control of a solo act to someone else, turning self-pleasure into obedience. Hugely popular as fetish content (audio and video creators make it a whole genre), it's also live or long-distance play between partners. It ranges from encouraging and teasing to strict, dominant, and denial-heavy. It overlaps with orgasm control, edging, and dominance.

For the one following instructions, the turn-on is surrendering control of even their own hand — being told what to do, teased, and permitted (or denied) release. For the one giving them, it's dominance and the intimacy of directing a partner's pleasure, even from afar. It's ideal for long-distance play.

One partner narrates commands — 'slow down,' 'edge and stop,' 'don't come yet' — while the other obeys, in person, over the phone, or via a recorded clip. It's often laced with teasing, praise, or humiliation and paired with orgasm denial.

Physically low-risk — mostly just don't chafe from overzealous edging. Emotionally, agree on the tone (teasing versus humiliating) beforehand, and keep it consensual and pressure-free.